Living Independently, But Never Alone

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Mr Phillip Ee has always been a fiercely self-sufficient man. A jack-of-alltrades, he has worked as a resort park manager, a taxi driver, and a security officer. At 84, he lives alone in his Dover flat, relying on himself as much as possible. “I never like to ask people for help,” he admits. “I don’t like to feel obligated. I don’t want to trouble people.” In 2024, Mr Ee was referred to Lions Befrienders. Due to his mobility issues and lack of support, he had not attended a medical appointment for nearly two years. At first, he was hesitant to accept help. Under the Community Case Management Service, Lions Befrienders Social Worker Wong Bein Siong, 44, began dropping by regularly. The Community Case Management Service supports seniors by connecting them to services and helping them manage their needs.
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For Mr Ee, it started with food rations delivered twice a day. Slowly, the relationship deepened. With patience and persistence, Bein Siong continued to ask the same question: “Is there anything you need help with?” Eventually, Mr Ee opened up. He shared how hard it had been to get to the doctor. Lions Befrienders encouraged him to go, and when he finally agreed, they made the arrangements. Bein Siong also introduced him to physiotherapy, and after attending sessions regularly, Mr Ee’s mobility improved significantly. These moments of connection grew over time; through regular chats, check-ins, and even a sudden trip to the bank when Mr Ee lost access to his account.
Bein Siong arranged for a cab and helped him navigate with his wheelchair. “I am very, very thankful,” Mr Ee says, sharing this incident as one of the most impactful moments from his time with Lions Befrienders. “The beauty of it is, I don’t ask for help, but they offer. That’s a real blessing.” Though reserved by nature, Mr Ee has formed a quiet trust and mutual respect with Bein Siong.

“Deep inside, I always appreciate. In life, you cannot take things for granted,” he says. “I’ve got help around. A lot of help.”

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That trust goes both ways. “When we meet seniors and talk to them, I feel honoured that they open up to me about their lives, their difficulties and challenges,” Bein Siong says. “A new person coming in may be difficult for them to trust, and I feel that I want to give something back, to thank them for that. That genuine exchange, it’s meaningful to me.” Bein Siong also expresses high regard for Mr Ee. Despite the challenges of ageing alone, heremains steady in spirit and generous in action. He is well-loved at his neighbourhood coffeeshop, always looking out for others. “It is something I admire about him,” Bein Siong shares. “And his mindset is, ‘I’ll just do what I can, and I leave the rest to faith.’ I think as people we often chase after specific outcomes, struggling to let go. But for Mr Ee, he can do it. I hope that when I grow old, I can be like him. Let go of things I can’t control, and focus on the present moment.
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Be kind to others, and receive kindness in return. This is the biggest thing I’ve learned from my time with him.” Over time, Mr Ee has come to see that accepting help does not mean giving up his independence or burdening others. Rather, it allows him to continue living life on his own terms, with dignity and peace of mind. 

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